As a part of Mental Health Awareness Week, I figured it would fit right in to publish a summary of the TEDxMarianopolisCollege Talk I was responsible for over the course of last semester.
Here are 5 Things About Grieving Suicide.
It’s okay to miss them, more than you would have thought.
One of the hardest things about losing someone in your life is that you realize what you lost. Not being able to do simple things, like laugh with them or share a few fries with that person becomes unbearable, but mostly because, more often then not, we don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone. Therefore, it’s okay to miss them, as that will make those memories, as simple and silly as they may sound, last a snippet longer.
It’s okay to be mad, at them and at the world you live in.
It’s okay to be mad at them and it’s okay to ask questions. I realized that life isn’t fair, and it took me on a wild ride of tormenting religious, faith-related and opposing convictions. It also led me to realize the individual component of faith: everyone justifies events like suicide very differently. To some, praying and believing in a greater power helps, and to some it may all seem pointless. It’s okay to fall in either of those categories, as well as falling somewhere in the middle.
It’s okay to remember.
They will be everywhere. You might stop laughing or get mad when people mention suicide in a comical fashion. Losing someone in such a traumatic fashion is something you most likely won’t forget. It might affect your everyday life: it will be hard to accept. Take your time to deal with it however you see is appropriate for you; but learn to accept the event and honor your friend/family member/acquaintance instead of dwelling, as excruciatingly hard that may sound.
It’s okay not to remember them.
They will be everywhere, but not everything about them will stick; here are the limits of human capacities. You won’t remember on which side of their face they used to part their hair, the sound of their voice, the sound of their laugh… It’s heartbreaking in the most physical way imaginable, and it might happen. If human biology fails you as it did me, focus on what you do remember, and on how that is important to you, more so, hopefully, than mere details surrounding their missing presence in your life.